Witnessing misunderstanding....

Date & Time: 24th March 2012 (Saturday) 10.31pm
Location: My Room
Mood: Betrayed and disappointed
Song Playing: Qasidah Istighfar

I am human...just like everybody else...i dun consider myself special than any other human...i trust in Allah as to how He judges me...not any other human....as a human being....i have feelings too...so here they are...

i feel that many people hate me....i was lying down on my mattress...trying to figure out wat just happened....how did it get to an argument instead of a conversation...but all i got was the words uttered to me on the phone...and the line went dead....such painful words...but if its the truth...i'll accept...

often times, i have been misjudged, misunderstood by people i care about...some times after something like that are being told to me...i sit and think about it...not in a worrying way...but in a figuring out what i had done wrong way...

See...i come from a background where we are not trained to express love towards each other...and i know for a fact dat all of us are hurt in some ways due to this....

Its actually sad...to be witnessing it and being in it...but Allah knows best...i know not....so i accept it the way it is...and try my very best to treasure every single sweetness, bitterness, happy and disappointing moments of it all...

As i grew up...i keep a mental note...to always be kind to others...though i know sometimes i fail to....but i know i did try and put in whatever efforts within my capability....it hurts me if the people i care about are hurt by me...if something goes wrong...i will try my might to make it right...provided if i know what the problem is...but it is commonly known...dat it takes two hands to clap....often times...i'm on the battlefield alone...still figuring out what am i supposed to be fighting for? What is the thing that is so precious that i have to fight for...? In the end...i will just succumb to whatever it is that the rest of the world decides would make them happy...

Many times in the past...i did that...and in the end...i am left crippling with all the scars of the attacks...It is quite a cliche this phrase that says "......

Oh gosh..i am feeling so emotional right now...i can't write coz i can't stop these tears....i can't do this right now...