Saturday, August 6, 2011

Witnessing my downfall

Date & Time: 7th August 2011, 3.24am (Sunday)
Location: My Room
Mood: Healing
Song Playing: Adele - Set Fire To The Rain

I cried a lot earlier in the day....Accumulative pain, anger, disappointment...u name it...i felt it....i couldn't stop...all these while, the negative emotions i felt and bottled up inside me exploded from in within me....i cried...i didn't stop...not yet...i couldn't understand all the emotions stirring up inside me....all i know...i need to get it all out...

When i eventually stopped...i sat staring out the window to the sky....all the images in past events that went through my mind wen i was having the mental breakdown a while ago starts to vanish...i imagined it all burned down....perished...i'm killing it all....i know deep inside that all those things that happened has its own specific reason...it could be somethings i should learn from...somethings i should stay away from coz its bad for me...somethings dat i should take note being signals to warn me of future events...

I chose..to kill it all...burn it all....i'll self-destruct now....to be reborn again....to take things to a new perspective....to move on...not look back...and start anew....

So what if others couldnt be bothered with me..so what if others wanna talk about me...so what if others wanna test my patience....so what if others wanna step on my toes....so what if others wanna stab me on my back...so what.....

Yeah...i dun really do well on some things in my life..yeah...i lost my job on Friday...yeah...i didn't see that one coming...yeah...i thought i was the one who was gonna walk away from that piece of craphole....yea...bla bla bla....

But its not the end of the world...i'm just ending the phase of this so-called 'black patch'....i am rising from my downfall....

Note to self: We musn't look upon ppl who have more..but look upon ppl who have less...Only then, we will humbly know where we stand...

~Shahida~